Countless prayers “God, please take this diabetes away from me, I don’t want it anymore”…”God please…don’t let this gene have passed to my children”…”God please, I’m tired of poking myself four times a day…”…I hear these from my husband…
Countless comments… “Diabetes sucks”…”Ugh!!!! WHY is my sugar not under control!? I took 20 units to cover my food, this doesn’t make sense”…”ugh…stupid body!”… “ugh…I wish I could eat like a normal person”…”ugh”…”ugh”…”ugh”…
Countless images…my husband taking his insulin shot…”ouch, that one hurt”…bruises on his stomach…watching him wake in the middle of the night…low…shaking, sweating, “out of it”…stumbling to the kitchen for sugar to bring him up…seeing his embarrassment of taking shots in front of others when we are in a social environment…the desire to be “normal” like everyone else…seeing the disappointment in his eyes when the cake comes out and he can’t have any (or chooses not to with reluctance so he doesn't have to take another shot)…but everyone else can…
Countless fears…my fears, his fears…what if he loses a limb…what if he gets low and gets into an accident…what if his uncontrollable anger as a result from high sugar and low sugars turns too ugly…what if he has to go through things with his kidneys, etc…what if he loses his eye sight…what if he becomes disabled…how will that affect him…his attitude…his self worth…his feelings…how will that affect us…me…our kids…our family…our finances, our lives…what if we lose him…would I lay down next to him and die?...How would I explain it to our kids? How would I deal with their sorrow?
Countless educational encounters…how many carbs are in a cup of beans…what?! You mean there is sugar in THAT!?, how many units do I take for ten grams of carbs… I have to take my insulin BEFORE I eat?...what about exercise?...what about a pump…what about good sugar/bad sugar? LEARNING…constantly learning about Diabetes…because we HAVE TO…
Countless trips to the doctor…another co-pay…another lecture…more insulin…
I’m standing on the other side…not knowing exactly what he’s going through, but seeing, and feeling the pain of empathy for him. PRAYING fervently for GOD’S will to be done in this situation…for God to show mercy on him. For God to intervene, for God to heal.
And TRYING to encourage him…take your insulin…you’re doing GREAT…you’ve been keeping very good control over this…God IS going to heal you…God WILL have the Glory out of this…you WILL get better…you WILL NOT lose your eye sight, I WILL love you no matter WHAT happens with your body, health, eyes, limbs, etc…
Trying to take care of him…counting carbs, counting units of insulin, preparing shots, cooking healthy meals, etc…
AND through it all…the pains, the ups, downs, questions, hurts, fears, images, comments, and prayers…we are STILL and WILL praise God…HIS PLAN will prevail…no matter what that is…this is HIS body…we know He has the final say…and HE has purpose for all things…HE turns things around for the good of those who love Him…HE is our provider…HE is our rock…HE is the redeemer…sometimes there’s two sets of footprints and sometimes there’s one…
Countless comments… “Diabetes sucks”…”Ugh!!!! WHY is my sugar not under control!? I took 20 units to cover my food, this doesn’t make sense”…”ugh…stupid body!”… “ugh…I wish I could eat like a normal person”…”ugh”…”ugh”…”ugh”…
Countless images…my husband taking his insulin shot…”ouch, that one hurt”…bruises on his stomach…watching him wake in the middle of the night…low…shaking, sweating, “out of it”…stumbling to the kitchen for sugar to bring him up…seeing his embarrassment of taking shots in front of others when we are in a social environment…the desire to be “normal” like everyone else…seeing the disappointment in his eyes when the cake comes out and he can’t have any (or chooses not to with reluctance so he doesn't have to take another shot)…but everyone else can…
Countless educational encounters…how many carbs are in a cup of beans…what?! You mean there is sugar in THAT!?, how many units do I take for ten grams of carbs… I have to take my insulin BEFORE I eat?...what about exercise?...what about a pump…what about good sugar/bad sugar? LEARNING…constantly learning about Diabetes…because we HAVE TO…
Countless trips to the doctor…another co-pay…another lecture…more insulin…
I’m standing on the other side…not knowing exactly what he’s going through, but seeing, and feeling the pain of empathy for him. PRAYING fervently for GOD’S will to be done in this situation…for God to show mercy on him. For God to intervene, for God to heal.
And TRYING to encourage him…take your insulin…you’re doing GREAT…you’ve been keeping very good control over this…God IS going to heal you…God WILL have the Glory out of this…you WILL get better…you WILL NOT lose your eye sight, I WILL love you no matter WHAT happens with your body, health, eyes, limbs, etc…
Trying to take care of him…counting carbs, counting units of insulin, preparing shots, cooking healthy meals, etc…
AND through it all…the pains, the ups, downs, questions, hurts, fears, images, comments, and prayers…we are STILL and WILL praise God…HIS PLAN will prevail…no matter what that is…this is HIS body…we know He has the final say…and HE has purpose for all things…HE turns things around for the good of those who love Him…HE is our provider…HE is our rock…HE is the redeemer…sometimes there’s two sets of footprints and sometimes there’s one…
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