Kindergarten Graduation (Where's Laila?)

Everyone knows the classic books, "Where's Waldo?" I think it's time to play, "Where's Laila?" Everyone knows Diabetes is a silent illness, it's hard to pick out of a crowd. Good luck finding the diabetic in this graudation ceremony!

I'm right between a kid in Ms. Duffy's class and Ms. Ibarra's class!

See me smiling? :)

When I was a baby, a baby, a baby...when I was a baby, I went like this:
I went goo this way and goo that way...

Can you find Laila?

Do you see me in my team Ms. McAulay's shirt on Tuesday in these pictures? This was my Kindergarten Graduation! I have been promoted to first grade when school starts again! I had so much fun in Ms. McAulay's class this year and I learned lots of things. I love going to school but I'm happy I get to sleep in now. Do you like to go to school or sleep in like me? That's all I want to say for now.

Love,
Laila Bug

Dancing with Diabetes

Saturday was Laila's very first dance recital! She did a phenomenal job, if I do say so myself. I was nervous about leaving her alone with a backstage mom unfamiliar with diabetes, so I opted to skip the show and stay with her. I'm glad I did, her sugar dropped before their performance down to the 80's, and I was able to feed her a little snack and get her some juice before going on stage.

Laila really enjoyed the recital, and she's excited to share some of the details with you! It's been a long few months, the struggles of diabetes played an important role in our decision of whether or not to enroll her in dance in the first place, but with her determination and independence, she persevered through the highs and lows of the season and came out on top.

This is me and my best friend, Kaytlyn. We are in dance together.

This is me and Kaytlyn watching the bigger girls dance. I liked the pink ones that did tap.

This is a picture of some of the girls in my dance class.
You can't tell I have diabetes, I look just like girls next to me!

Here I am! I was really excited!

I had so much fun in dance this year. I was scared at first that I wouldn't be like the other kids in my class, but no one can see my diabetes. I got to dance on a big stage and everyone watched me and clapped when we were all done. My costume was purple, my favorite color. I love hearing my shoes on the floor when I walk. I am really really excited to take a new dance class when school starts again. I might take tap but I don't know yet what I want to do.

Thank you for reading this!

Love,
Laila

Buca, Baby!

This past weekend, after what seemed like an eternity, my husband and I finally went on a date. Though they're rare, they are possible! My dear friend, Wendy, came over to watch the kids and off we went. We promised ourselves, and each other, we wouldn't spend the evening talking about our kids. This was our time, this was our date, and we knew time was limited. I left specific instructions, I wasn't worried, everyone was prepared. The thought of spending the evening without a child spilling a drink, asking for a bite, touching something on my plate or having to use the bathroom at least once in the middle of dinner was almost overwhelming! I could hardly contain my excitement in the car ride there.

We went to a fabulous dinner at Buca di Beppo, Italian food always seems to hit the spot when you can't agree on a restaurant! We ordered way too much food, and laughed all throughout dinner. We even splurged on drinks and dessert, which is quite unusual for us. We didn't have to measure everything, account for every last morself of food, or plan that far ahead. We took our time and really enjoyed ourselves. It was an amazing time, almost too good to be true. Then he said it. Laila. Diabetes. Insulin. Carbs.

Damn.

We chuckled to ourselves about bringing the kids and letting them have a free-for-all. If you've never been to Buca, it's a family style menu-you order a big bowl of pasta and pass it around the table. Our family loves pasta, so this place is ideal, though we've never taken the kids. The reason behind not sharing this place? The carbohydrates. A typical bowl of pasta is easily 3 units of insulin for Laila, to bring her here we'd have to pump her full of insulin to cover everything she'd be eating, and sometimes, it's not quite as fun as it sounds.

Playing the guessing game is a scary thing when you're dealing with your child. How do you know if you've given them too much, or not enough? You wait. And it's terrifying. You watch the numbers on the meter count backwards from 5 to 1 and hold your breath as the number pops up on the screen. You sigh with relief if it's good, managable even, and cringe if it's out of whack. Whether you deserve a pat on the back for your lucky guess, or a scolding for your wrong answer, it's not a game I choose to participate in often. Diabetes is a way of life, it's a daily learning experience for every one of us. I just wish we weren't learning at Laila's expense.

So, for now, Buca is our little secret. We all need a place to run away to, to forget the struggles of our daily lives, and to be at peace with ourselves, inside and out-right? For now, this will be ours. Thanks, Buca, I knew I could count on you, and not your carbs.

Guest Blogger: Nikki Chavez

Written by the wife of a type 1 diabetic, and straight from the heart, I hope you enjoy what Nikki Chavez has to offer. She's the amazing mother of two, and an inspiration as a wife. Read along as she shares how she manages life with a diabetic husband, and how leaning on God has brought her to the peace she feels today.

Countless prayers “God, please take this diabetes away from me, I don’t want it anymore”…”God please…don’t let this gene have passed to my children”…”God please, I’m tired of poking myself four times a day…”…I hear these from my husband…

Countless comments… “Diabetes sucks”…”Ugh!!!! WHY is my sugar not under control!? I took 20 units to cover my food, this doesn’t make sense”…”ugh…stupid body!”… “ugh…I wish I could eat like a normal person”…”ugh”…”ugh”…”ugh”…

Countless images…my husband taking his insulin shot…”ouch, that one hurt”…bruises on his stomach…watching him wake in the middle of the night…low…shaking, sweating, “out of it”…stumbling to the kitchen for sugar to bring him up…seeing his embarrassment of taking shots in front of others when we are in a social environment…the desire to be “normal” like everyone else…seeing the disappointment in his eyes when the cake comes out and he can’t have any (or chooses not to with reluctance so he doesn't have to take another shot)…but everyone else can…

Countless fears…my fears, his fears…what if he loses a limb…what if he gets low and gets into an accident…what if his uncontrollable anger as a result from high sugar and low sugars turns too ugly…what if he has to go through things with his kidneys, etc…what if he loses his eye sight…what if he becomes disabled…how will that affect him…his attitude…his self worth…his feelings…how will that affect us…me…our kids…our family…our finances, our lives…what if we lose him…would I lay down next to him and die?...How would I explain it to our kids? How would I deal with their sorrow?

Countless educational encounters…how many carbs are in a cup of beans…what?! You mean there is sugar in THAT!?, how many units do I take for ten grams of carbs… I have to take my insulin BEFORE I eat?...what about exercise?...what about a pump…what about good sugar/bad sugar? LEARNING…constantly learning about Diabetes…because we HAVE TO…

Countless trips to the doctor…another co-pay…another lecture…more insulin…

I’m standing on the other side…not knowing exactly what he’s going through, but seeing, and feeling the pain of empathy for him. PRAYING fervently for GOD’S will to be done in this situation…for God to show mercy on him. For God to intervene, for God to heal.

And TRYING to encourage him…take your insulin…you’re doing GREAT…you’ve been keeping very good control over this…God IS going to heal you…God WILL have the Glory out of this…you WILL get better…you WILL NOT lose your eye sight, I WILL love you no matter WHAT happens with your body, health, eyes, limbs, etc…

Trying to take care of him…counting carbs, counting units of insulin, preparing shots, cooking healthy meals, etc…

AND through it all…the pains, the ups, downs, questions, hurts, fears, images, comments, and prayers…we are STILL and WILL praise God…HIS PLAN will prevail…no matter what that is…this is HIS body…we know He has the final say…and HE has purpose for all things…HE turns things around for the good of those who love Him…HE is our provider…HE is our rock…HE is the redeemer…sometimes there’s two sets of footprints and sometimes there’s one…