Yesterday was another routine endo visit, another long trip to the hospital in Phoenix, another missed day of school, and another finger poke. Typically, I cringe when I see the date pop up on the calendar, Laila absolutely hates going, and I hate seeing her behave the way she does. It's not the finger poke that scares her, it's the small stuff that stresses her out: wearing the bracelet, standing on the scale, letting them measure her height, and taking her blood pressure. The simple, harmless little things cause her to spiral into a downward tizzy. It's ridiculous.
I'm proud to say, yesterday went much better than expected. The entire family loads up to go with Laila, it's usually an all-day event, and we are all there with her during the dreaded check-in process. I'm not sure if it was the promises of an amazing surprise afterwards, or Kenadi and Dustin going through the motions with her, but Laila did exceptionally well! She put up little resistance, and was even talkative with the doctor!
Each visit brings me anxiety, I'm always nervous not just about how the kids behave, but about every little last detail. Each high number brings a pit to the bottom of my stomach, each injection site that doesn't look just right the next day, every time we go too long without checking, I'm always afraid I'm harming her, and her life is truly in my hands. The biggest stress for me this visit was the result of the dreaded A1C test. If you're unfamiliar, it's basically a blood glucose test that gives you an average reading for the previous 3 months. At the date of her diagnosis, Laila's A1C was over 14%, which means her average sugar for the past 3 months was at least 360, if not higher. Her current number was 8.3%, which puts her average reading for the past 3 months at 192! It's a little higher than most diabetics that have been managing longer, but much better than where she's been. As we work toward a lower number, we will continue to adjust her rates and ratios. Her "goal zone" is 150-180 for her daily testing, we allow a little higher at night to prevent overnight lows, and never allow her to go to bed below 130.
I feel as though it's my job to educate, answer questions, and promote diabetes management. Laila's not old enough to advocate for herself yet, so it falls on my shoulders. I hope this blog is reaching those who need the support, the reminder they're not alone, and a normal, healthy life is possible with diabetes.
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